Sunday, January 10, 2010

Prince Charming to the Rescue!

He had saved me, once again.. it was like no matter how hard I fell, he was right there to pick me back up. That's one of the reasons I had fell in love with Josh in the first place. He was there when no one else was, when my world was crumbling, when I couldn't take even looking at myself in the mirror.. he saved me. For me, that was hard to except. I never liked the fact that I had needed him, like I wasn't strong enough because the truth is I was. In so many ways I was stronger then I had imagined, but with him came this weakness. A weakness I could never explain; it was almost as if I knew he was always going to put the pieces back together for me, it was as if I had stopped trying to do it myself. In reality, I was capable of keeping myself together I just didn't want to try anymore. I was tired of being "kept together!" I was tired of people saying how they would be acting if they were in my shoes. I was tired of being strong because everyone didn't want me to be, and I gave them exactly what they wanted. To tell you the truth, my days haven't been sunny in a while. I'm not your average 18 year old "daddy's little girl." When I was 7 I had lost my father and yes, it was tragic. I went through bullshit on all ends, between dealing with his death and a mother who picked her boyfriend over her kid wasn't an appealing situation. I guess he had offered her more then I could at the time, good grades didn't get me the attention that I craved. She was supposed to be both parents when he had left. She had wrapped herself up into something I couldn't control anymore. He was the typical "I'll take care of you kind of guy." While he was taking care of her, he was taking care of her if you know what I mean. Josh came like a bird out of the sky, he had scooped me up and promised I would never have to go back down. In Josh's head, was always a plan. He was going to get us out of here one way or another, and he would die trying if he had to. A character in his own way, that's exactly what he did. He had paved the path for us to broaden our horizons, he had brought the sun back into my life. But at the end of the day, could we still fly away together?...

Welcome to Reality.