Monday, January 4, 2010

Keeping it Together


Let's face it, the whole time Josh was away I was a complete mess! For a whole month, I don't even think I moved off the couch.

I had the same routine everyday:
1) wake up & shower (brush teeth etc.)
2) eat, that's if I had an appetite
3) stalk his life
4) wait for a phone call
REPEAT

But then I realized... This guy is having the time of his life! What the hell am I doing sitting on a fucking couch for Christ's sake! So I started doing things for me. Starting with the gym, maybe three times a week? I figured out ways to make myself feel beautiful even if he wasn't around to kiss me on my forehead and tell me that I was. I guess you could say I kinda sorta went through a personality crisis. But hey! Who said this experience was life changing for just him? Pretty soon I was on my way to a whole new me!! Tighter body, different hair, new attitude. This was going to be the BIGGEST summer of his life, why was I wasting mine? Time called for a trip to the shore ( yes, the Jersey shore.) I don't mean the Jersey shore with all the guidos & guidettes, but North Wildwood. Even though it was only with family, baking on the beach in my itty bitty bikini didn't sound so horrible! On the other side it did. I had to go back to the place where me and him had shared some of our first memorable moments. I wasn't so sure if I was ready to go back without him..

Welcome to Reality.

1 comments:

Katelyn said...

I love your blog. It gives a side of the story you never get to see. I know I would feel the same way in the beginning as you. Good for you for being strong enough to get up and find something to keep you busy and make you happy too. Thanks so much for sharing your story!